A girl named Eugene

Yesterday someone called and when I said Hello, a very confused sounding older lady responded, "Eugene?". And I mean really, how could I possibly sound like a Eugene? She pretty much demanded to know who she was speaking to, which always throws me. I mean look, you called me. If anyone should be demanding to know who's speaking, it's moi. I had to tell her twice before she got a clue that she had the wrong number. And I was nice, I didn't say any of the things I would have liked to say...
"Eugene isn't here. We put him in a home."
"Eugene died choking on a Hostess cherry pie."
"Eugene was arrested for punching the waitress at Cracker Barrel after she told him they don't serve stewed prunes."
"Eugene's been assimilated by the Borg."
And hubby's suggestion that I just tell her I am, in fact, Eugene.

And what if I am Eugene? Maybe she had the right number after all. Maybe the government of Micronesia had my memory erased and I'm living a lie. Well if that's the case it's just as well, because I don't fancy being a Eugene. That doesn't sound exciting at all, even if I was Borg-Eugene. I'd rather just keep being me and put my life as a pugilistic, cherry pie eating, elderly Borg Eugene far behind me.